With Everything.

I made a list today, that from now on:

I'll try not to clutch the steering,

as I drive past through the places we've been fooling around all these time.

I'll try to burst into laughters,

to every jokes and weird things people shoved me, pretending that you're beside laughing frantically as much as I do.

I'll try to breathe as calm as a calf,

though I find it hard to breathe from the amount of cigarettes that helped me to ease the missing moments that keeps suffocating me.

I'll try to enjoy every meal,

though it is just a simple roti cheese and indomee goreng, and pretend that they're the best food in the whole world.

I'll try not to look at the clock

that reminds me of how I wish it could stop even just for a while, before you left. Or not to think about how long do I have to wait for you to meet you again.

I'll try not to smoke too much,

pretending that I'm leaving a decent amount of Winston Light for you later.

I'll try to sleep deeply as I can,

and pretend that this whole waiting thing is just a momentary dream, and I shall see your face when I wake up.

I'll try to smile,

and think about how you would carve your smile back at me the way you always do.

I'll walk in confidence,

and pretend that you're beside me, like you always do.

I'll to be strong for you,

for I know that it will eventually makes you strong, too.

So go on, spread your wings and fly, baby bird.

For I will be here waiting for your return home, while my heart will sing of your name, as always.