Regret?

I’ve waited for quite some time nak tulis benda ni. Hesitation, to say the least.

Regression.

Or regret.

Apa yang kita regret dalam hidup kita? From the first time kaki kita keluar ke dunia (mak aku cakap aku lahir songsang, sebab tu aku sengal) till the very moment, kita regret dalam banyak perkara.

“Apasal la aku beli baju ni, kan best kalau aku pergi Padini”

“God, if only I cud turn back time.. if only.”

“Monyosal den tak poie ahgi tu”

“Kenapa la I boleh suka kat you. Kan best kalau kita tak pernah kenal?”

Well, all of a sudden, we’d tend to put ourselves in thoughts, filled with ‘if-only’s, and starting to realize how stupid we are, for ‘letting’ that happened.

Aku mula fikir benda ni, particularly some time in the early July 2008. When I’ve decided untuk quit study, and proceed with life, let alone discover the hardway by myself. Terduduk, tekup muka dengan tangan, drifted away. Sunk deep into my own clouds.

“Ya Allah, betul kea pa aku buat ni? Is that it?”

Well, not boasting, but as a loner (my known fact) I can assure you that my innerself has become one of my greatest friends ever. Masa tu jugak, aku convo dengan diri sendiri.

“Menyesal? Perlu menyesal ke?”

Tu je pun. But.. honestly, it left me in the most inner sanctum of my own Pandora, only me, myself. Hmm. The question is, kau nak menyesal ke? Sebab kau tak pilih course yang betul-betul ko nak? Sebab kau ikut cakap orang masa decide nak apply apa? Sebab kau tak belajar sungguh-sungguh? Sebab asik sengaja nak distractkan diri dengan benda-benda bodoh?

“Perlu ke kau menyesal?”


Well, and that’s somewhere in July 2008. Now its nearly April 2009. That’s nearly 8-9 month already. Tempoh tu la aku mula mengenal apa tu hidup tanpa ada kawan-kawan kelas. Teompoh tanpa ada budak-budak seblok yang mengutuk dari belakang. Tempoh mengenal budak-budak band yang baru nak main muzik. Mengenal musician yang dah lama main muzik tapi tak berjaya pun sampai sekarang. Tempoh mengenal apa itu kawan SEBENAR dalam hidup, juga definite backstabber yang sgt lethal. Oh, tak lupa juga yang mahu berbaik dengan niat.

Now sekarang baru aku sedar seperkara, on why we SHOULDN’T even have the word REGRET exist in our diaries.

Kenapa perlu menyesal? Kenapa nak salahkan diri sendiri atas benda yang berlaku?

Everything happens for a reason (bombarding you with clichés), literally. For those who’re currently rolling their eyes, just wait. One day, it’ll come to you.

Aku bangga dengan diri aku sekarang. Aku tak sangka aku boleh achieve apa yang aku ada - Alhamdulillah. Seriously. I love myself, and always be. Life is never unfair, it’s just probably you who did not treat yourself right. Likewise your chastising youself, sakit, tapi nak buat lagi.

Buat apa?

Aku bangga aku quit study. Aku bangga aku berani fall in love dengan someone, and in the end, I’m mending myself lepas kena tinggal; and for like one and a half year terbuang just for me to get over her. Aku bangga aku jadi bahan cemuhan. Aku bangga ada orang kata “mamat ni memang takkan jadi manusia” (sebab aku tahu, aku akan buktikan dekat dia one day, just one day). Bangga untuk kata “Ye, aku quit, so what?”. Aku bangga untuk kata, ya, ni lah aku. Pembosan, asshole, broke, menyusahkan, and I’m proud of myself.

I have failed, so what? At least, I shot for something, and it missed. And still shooting. Someday, somehow, I’ll hit something. And when I do, I’ll hit it hard.

I love you. I love
each and everyone of you losers out there, I love you.


I love you.

seranghendapMonoLoque

Sekadar notis, namun harus diambil perhatian dengan kadar yang segera. Insan yang anda kenali dengan nama pentas Loque dari kugiran tersohor Butterfingers (atau kini lebih relevannya dengan MonoLoque), kini sedang bersiap sedia dengan misi invasi muzikal terbaru beliau.

Kepada yang masih belum mendapat gambaran akan direksi muzik beliau, tanpa selindungnya MonoLoque bukanlah lampiran karya yang dimainkan atas paksi muzik yang padat dengan bunyian hasil kebisingan distorsi gitar, hentakan dram mahupun paduan bass seperti yang terdapat pada karya-karya band beliau yang punya reputasi elit tersendiri, Butterfingers.

Pastinya memori yang wujud, berkisar tentang empat pemuda (kadangkala berlima, juga berenam – bergantung kepada kapasiti pentas.. mungkin?) yang beraksi di gelanggang muzik bebas, juga arus perdana, berkarya tanpa sempadan lebih sedekad lamanya.. baik, cukup setakat itu.

Boleh dikatakan, MonoLoque adalah sesuatu yang tidaklah dikira baru, namun berlainan dari apa yang wujud pada garis masa sebelumnya.

Idea kasarnya mudah, namun pengisiannya cukup kompleks: diadun dengan jalinan idea yang datangnya tidak berpangkal, muzik MonoLoque bukanlah sesuatu yang dipandang sebagai sesuatu yang cliché dan predictable bagi sesetengah orang. Mengaplikasikan apa jua bunyi untuk diadun semula menjadi sebuah karya – yang kadang kalanya didengari oleh kita setiap hari. Bunyian.. seperti bunyi kapal terbang, bunyi angin yang menderu, bunyi titisan air di tandas awam, bunyi generator elektrik di pasar malam, bunyi loceng sekolah.. ya, apa sahaja yang boleh diketegorikan sebagai bunyi.

Muzik seharusnya dipandang lebih dari sesuatu yang disifatkan universal; setidak-tidaknya diskrit, tidak berbentuk, juga halus. Ia kadangkala datang tak diduga, pergi tak disedari. Mungkin atas dasar detik itu jugalah MonoLoque mula bernafas, cuba untuk mencipta (atau merubah?) sesuatu yang segar, mungkin sedikit mencabar jiwa.

Sememangnya MonoLoque juga wujud atas rasa egois dan rebel, mahu membuka suatu lembaran baru terhadap senario muzik Malaysia khususnya. Dengan terzahirnya rasa tersebut, wujud sebuah laman yang diberi nama “127 Anak Tangga Ke Pintu Syurga” (yang boleh diakses melalui alamat http://www.monoloque.com), bukan sahaja merupakan portal memperkenalkan MonoLoque ke telinga umum, bahkan sebuah laman di mana para peminat (yang mahir/separa mahir menggubah muzik digital) diberi peluang untuk mengadun semula karya-karya MonoLoque mengikut kekretifan mereka tersendiri – suatu bentuk interaksi yang pastinya belum pernah (atau sangat jarang) dilakukan.

Kepada yang berminat untuk menyertai, anda hanya perlu mendaftarkan diri mereka, hanya dengan berbekalkan alamat E-mail juga kata laluan – tidak perlu mengisi butiran seperti yang anda lakukan untuk laman peminat/fansite yang lain. Dari situ, anda boleh memulakan kembara anda, meneroka limitasi kekretifan dunia muzik digital anda.

Kini MonoLoque sedan dalam proses tungkus lumus untuk menyiapkan segala apa yang perlu, untuk menyerang hendap senario muzik Malaysia.

Sudahkah anda bersedia?

aku rindu kau. :(

All your twisted thoughts free flow
To everlasting memories
Show soul
Kiss the stars with me
And dread the wait for
Stupid calls returning to us to life
We say to those who are in love
It can't be true 'cause we're too young
I know that's true because so long I was
So in love with you
So I thought
A year goes by
And I can't talk about it
On my knees
Dim lighted room
Thoughts free flow try to consume myself in this
I'm not faithless
Just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose
Ignorance is bliss cherish it
Pretty neighborhoods you learn to much to hold
Believe it not
And fight the tears
With pretty smiles and lies about the times
A year goes by
And I can't talk about it
The times weren't right
And I couldn't talk about it
Choris Romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last between
Choris Romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last, between
And I'm praying that we will see
Something there in between
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream
So we can talk about it
Choris Romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last between
Choris Romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last healing
And I'm praying that we will see
Something there in between
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream.

Aku rindu kau sial. rindu gila babi. :(

My All Time Favorite Local Bands.

Ive been wanting to log a post of this for quite some time, finally. Ok, just to make it short and sweet (as im doing this.. well, during office hours -- again!), here's few names that you SHOULD check them out. Tell you, they ARE real talents, and they ARE the faces of Malaysian very own music scene. Err, the list aren't in order, just to make it even. Kang kata aku double standard lak. :p :p

Stonebay
- Ever since i saw their first performance in 2006 (at RTW7, yeah, the one that Ojie put them amps on fire.. way to go!) i was truuuuuuly stoked by them. Thumping, fresh, well-sounded band with good prescence onstage. Memang gempak. I've been always a big fan of alt rock, and tell u, these guys ROCKS. Now they're going off again, with new stuffs and direction, but with the same awesomeness. Can't wait for their next release tho.

Auburn
- I still remember, the first time i logged on to their myspace, they really blew me out with "Androgyne". That was somewhere in 2005, after they've made themselves in one of the page in ROTTW. Siap rayau satu KL nak carik CD "Karya", which finally i got one from a music store in CM (i think the store had gone out already). Punya nak dapatkan full relase tu.. heh Rich, crafty, and artsy music. A poetic band, with weird tunings (LOL). But i can guarantee you, they WILL blow you with their live performance, so go and watch them guys.

Brainhead
- I "stole" their raw demo CD from the shelves in ROTTW's office circa 2006. Ala.. CD demo pun mcm tak terlarat nak dengar, berbemban kat belakang tu. Well, i think i still have that CD kot. And yes, even tho it was a raw material, still felt like i was digging a raw diamond out of mud. Bunyi mmg teraburlah.. toksah cakap, but i did stunned by their songs. And thats before i went to RTW7, watching them playing their set before maghrib break. And now, tau² je dah rockstar semua. Hehe. Warm, nice, a bit poppy, and still crunchy. Rock on!

Maximus
- Ok, terus terang, i'm not being biased just because of aku housemate Mijie the guitarist, I've known these guys before Mijie finally broke his chains off with FlopPoppy, and while Maximus is only a project band (which eventually later became a serious band). I can say that Maximus is a statement to the local music scene that says, "Malay pop isn't just about sloppy, leleh love songs, with typical java-scaled solos". They are a badass POP band. Yes, I'm being soooooo selective about pop music, and they aren't cheesy Malay pop which normally you would refer to bands such as Speen, Spun, Span, Spank or whatever.

Hujan
- Noh is a gifted musician. His talents in making music are definitely one of the biggest gifts ever for Malaysian music. And Hujan is one of the bands that, i believe, changed the music scene. Bukti? Aku balik kampung pun.. muka² yang selama ni rock kapak, now already using "Aku Scandal" as their ringtone. Got the whole idea? The vibes are just.. flowing. It's like from the beginning to the end, it keeps "BANG!" all the way. And to hate them is porbably the stupidest thing, except if you're jelous of them being the baddest band in Malaysia.

Love Me Butch
- A hardworking band, they are. Love Me Butch has always been the wonder of local music. To date, i never got bored of seing them performing live onstage (tak ingat berapa kali aku tengok diaorang - i lost count. zounds of times). Shahrul's always in a perfect condition, with great voice which he can scream himself out in anytime. Rare. And now, they're ready to spread their wings once more with their upcoming album. Watchout everyone, Meng's shredding this time with his Gibsons.

The Times
- Aku tak beberapa into diaorang masa first time keluar dulu. Idk why, i just don't. AFTER watching them live (pfft, again) at RTW6, baru aku sedar yang aku ni ketinggalan, just because of i'm not really a huge fan of britrock (tapi dok dengar OCS, Oasis and stuff.. sengal). Especially seeing crowd singing along with their songs that had struck me for the first time. And now they're going out loud with their third release, "Modern Minimalis Glamour", which i might say, one of the best local release so far. What more can i say? Nuff said.

Komplot
- I got the first introduction to them while I was lepaking with Ojie, Zwan (haha.. best la eja camni.. bleh? :p) and friends somewhere in Sunway, after Stonebay's performance in 2007 Merdeka's eve. One guy came, hand me a copy and asked me, "bro nak beli tak bro? Band ni best ni bro..". Without thinking much, i grabbed a ten ringgit note and gave it to him. The next thing i knew, i cannot stop from playing the CD for three days. Imagine those early 80's Jin Shamsuddin's film's? Yeah, that the vibe that you'll get from their musics.

They Will Kill Us All
- I got some troubles to recall their band name dulu.. macam² la keluar whenever somebody asked me about them: They Will Kick Us All la.. They Will Kiss Us All la.. hehe. Sorry! Humble dudes, with good musics. Well crafted, well combined, wise ideas that'll never get you bored. And after MONTHS of bugging them especially Ed and Amir with "Mana CD korang woiiiii..", finally i got one. And yes, it worth a wait, thats all i can say. :) Good job guys!

ROSIN
- Formerly known as Radiostar. Now, my comments won't be empshasising about the vocals, as we all knew (or for those yang tak tahu, take a note), Pot Amir is a guy that can.. LITERALLY sing. His voice is golden, even while he was with Innuendo. But what really makes me like them was their good, matured ideas of creating music. Lirik yang.. puitis.. ahaha. Sayang, masih ramai lagi yang tak tahu pasal diaorang.. and i hope that next time i heard from them, they won't be just a prom night, wedding, nor a function band anymore. They deserve the stage with those spotlights.



Gee, that was fast. Nanti aku sambung. 'Laters. :)

Fwha??

Just something that i wud like to share with u musicfreaks out there. Two ubergood news i found out today.

First: Deftones is coming out with a new album soon. very soon. Entitled "Eros". God, the last album Saturday Night Wrist was waaaaaaaaayyy beyond of 'super', and i can't imagine how's it gonna be for this one.

Second: Wes Borland, yes ppl, WES B, has rejoined Limp Bizkit.. once again. I'm not sure whether this is for real or not. Especially imagining seeing him shredding his axe beside Fred D. And after the failure of the so-called "The Unquestionable Truth Part I" album. Well, let's just wait and see guys. Who knows Fred and Wes had both agreed to wipe those dusts off their red ballcaps and rabbit costumes, and reunite as a whole band again. FFI, log on to limpbizkit.com and see it for yourself.


And oh yeah, don't worry, I never use my blog to bug anyone pun. Kalau terasa sila ke sudut bilik sendiri eh. :p :p :p :p

good morning beautiful! :p :p

i must say that it was quite a ride this morning. no traffic jams, get to 'hale such a fine morning breeze (without much contamination from COs, go green). aaaah. and a nice, warm breakfast.

another morning, another day, brand new one.

:)

well, nothing much to post now i suppose, YET. will get back to you guys soon pretty shortly. just to say, good morning everyone.

oh yeah, to PIJE, may the best of luck be with you on your new job. my prayers are all with you. :D



*scream!*