Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Yesterday, twas the greatest day in my life, that can never be described in words.

I got approximately 241 birthday wishes on my Facebook walls.
Countless smses and BBMs.
Countless tweets.
Countless phonecalls.

From people that has been close to me to the people that I had never spoken to them, for a very, very long time.

It was quite a fragile moment, when I had my, so to speak, my actual birthday cake that has my name on it.
By far (well, actually I had one last year, but it was like 'sort of' birthday cake that I had to share, even that was accidental that I was there. And Dela bought me few slices of cakes that happen to be my first non official one. Love you Dels!)

But yes, yesterday might be the best day of my life, despite all the hiccups that I have been getting along this year.

I had the best present ever, by my beloved Celine. A box filled with pictures, keychains, tops, a koala, a frame, and so many things in it.

And I had this SD Memory Stick, which contains two videos that made me teary.

Words can never describe how indebtful I am to these people. And you guys, are just, the most amazing people that I've ever met in my entire life.

And I guess you guys can now understand how much I love this woman, as well as how much she does towards me. :')

Thank you Bummy, for everything. :) I love you.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Truth.

Faith is a subjective matter.

For over 6 billion population in the world, faith is sacred, even to those who considered themselves as agnostics and atheists.

As for me, a mere Muslim, I have my own faith, and like any other people who dare to take up so many challenges in his life, I have been jumping off so many cliffs with leaps of faith and yet, I am still standing. Figuratively, of course.

Because I know, I am weak, no matter how I confide that I am strong in taking up challenges day by day.

But sometimes, there was a time when I began to ask myself, or more towards re-convince myself that why am I being a Muslim. Is it just because I am born as one, or actually I have understood of why I am one. And to be honest, its not that hard to figure everything out, once I began to understand that the truth, is actually not hard to look for. You just need to open up your eyes, and look around, and ask yourself, are you going to let people feed you the 'truth', or are you going to find it yourself. And once, when you're content that you have all the answer you need, you choose.

And I choose to believe. I choose to submit. I choose to pray. I choose to be a good person. I choose to give RM1 to a beggar. I choose to go to the mosque to pray. I choose not to hurt someone's feeling, intentionally or unintentionally.

I do too, however, choose to do bad things. And to feel, or not too feel guilty about it.

But that's the fact of life that you've got to embrace, no matter how you deny it.

Everything, or every step you choose, absolutely on your own choice.

It's like the sixth foundation of Muslim's faith: The Qada' & The Qadr. There are things that God already planned out for you - all is as God wills it - which is of the Qada'. But even that, He gave you the freedom to determine your life, your own destiny to choose, may it be bad or good, and that's Qadr.

And I choose to do good things, because as much as Buddhists, we Muslims also believe in the concept of 'Karma'.

"So whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it; And whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it" - Holy Quran, 99:7-8

And to believe, you have to do more than just to submit; you need to understand. Of course, you can't understand the whole concept by yourself. And for that, you need to learn, with an open heart.

And to be honest, truth itself will reveal, along with the faith. And God knows, how long we have been living off lies that has been fed to us, for centuries.

What if someone comes and tells you that Hitler is a stacked actor and he was funded by the Rothschilds, a Jew family that control the World's money fund, which covers the whole Nazi operation and fuel their jets, as well as the chemicals that had been used for the Holocausts?

What about the conspiracy theory about 9/11, the fact that the building has been planted with bombs, and went off way before the plane hit the building of the World Trade Centre? That is something that can be told without even have to dig in the US Government Top Secret archives, and can be seen in numerous videos in YouTube alone.

What if the involvement of United States in the WWII, was somehow planned, as there were reports that said the US government knew about the attack on the Pearl Harbor a week before Dec 7, 1941?

Ooh, yes my friend. We came to the very dangerous age of Faith and Truth.

What don't people realize that Faith alone, can be used to turn against to those who follows it blindly, and those who seek the Truth.

So, you gotta know your Faith, and relearn it.

"Faith is a friend, you make it or break it." - Faith by Seven Collar T-Shirt

I'm hungry, again.

Monday, July 18, 2011



You got that right.

To begin with, I was quite annoyed with so many things these days, work, music, politics, almost everything. Including the gay right issues recently.

Let me tell you a bit about myself. When I was a young kid, I used to live with my sister Yati. I was somewhere in between 3 to 7 years old. That was the time in my life where I had experienced things that a young mind should not be exposed to, but somehow I am glad, because that made me who I am today.

I was raised by my sister whom apparently had so many gay friends around the house. Trans, normal gays, name it. But they were all good people. In fact, they took a good care of me when my sister went out for work. Bathed me, brought me around town and places, getting lots of cool presents and toys, and so forth. Although at that very young age, I have seen so many things that a mere 3 or 4 year old kid should not. Late Auntie Sonia (rest in peace), Papa Raj (God knows where is he now), and so many cool gay people that took care of me.

During my schooldays, very often kids who were labelled as 'soft types' were the ones who did well in their studies. Not to mention they were kind enough to help the others on their studies as well. Perhaps they've taken so many things thrown at them that they don't give a shit about the other jackasses who did that or to fool around trying to win over girls like any other normal boys. Either way, aside from their queerness, they were, or are to this day, very bright.

I have so many gay friends who happen to be good listeners and can provide good serious advice, and speaking from my observations, they know how to make money without ranting much of how shitty the financial situation while doing absolutely nothing about it.

And somehow, it's kinda sad of thinking that those good people being discriminated to the extend of being humiliated in public, even though they did nothing at all. Well, I'd make a joke about gayness sometimes, troll about them just for fun while avoiding certain limits that I am aware of as much as I can.

"That colour looks gay on you pal."

"Shit, she loves you man! Why can't you love her? Are you gay?"

"My phone died. Gayyy."


Yeah. I'd crack on that. Ha-ha. Well, I'd troll about anything, whenever, wherever, whatever.

But to publicly humiliate them?

Come on. Have some respect. They work for the country as much as you do. They paid their taxes as well as cleaning up their house like everyone else. Whatever they're doing with their life, no matter how you would lock their asses with gigantic pad lock, you won't be able to change them - unless if they want to.

Now I'm posting this not because of I'm supporting gay rights or whatsoever, in fact I'm not in the mood of supporting any party at all at the moment. Whatever that is in your damn pocket, just keep it to yourself. Who the fuck gives a shit. All I'm saying is that, learn to treat them people equally as much as possible.

And of course, to gay people, you don't have to cry and rant about how people would throw shits at you. You gotta realize that in this dying world, nothing, is just. That's just how the society works since day one - majorities will always squish the shit out of minorities. Stop crying and be bold. Grow up. Go and live your life, the way you want it to be. And always expect the consequences - just like everything in life. Ignorant will always stay where they are. That's just how you deal with everything. Don't expect people will cheer around you whenever you're making out with your partner in public. If you're about to go against the norm, you just have to deal with it - that's just the cardinal rule of life. Making youtube videos and getting riled up over negative comments on it, you should see it coming. If you think you're living in an 'oppressing' country to you, bail.


I don't really have much to say. I'm just hungry. Imma find something to eat.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Here's another blog that I'm currently doing with Celine. Checkout if you're free:




Kimak kan.

Time nak mintak tolong sikit punya susah payah merayu kat aku. Walaupun aku menyangkut, tapi dek kerana kesian, aku tolong jugak. La ni aku dah sangkut bagai nak rak DISEBABKAN KAU, aku nak mintak tolong balik sikit je pun, macam nak mintak nyawa. Kau jawab senang je kan?

Baguslah. Pergi berdrama la lagi dengan semua orang. Tabur cerita dongeng kesian kau tu. Baguslah. Bila kau dah mula kurang kawan, dok fikir apa sebab ramai orang pulau kan kau. Baguslah. Padan muka aku sebab baik sangat nak tolong orang.


Takperlah. Dunia ni adil. Tak kira kau siapa pun, Tuhan Maha Mengetahui. Biar hancur badan jasad jiwa aku sekali pun, DIA tahu apa dalam hati aku.

Sabar je la dek non oi.

...are you lost, or incomplete?

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