SPM Oh SPM

Sempat jugak aku terpandang paper pagi tadi, heboh pasal budak-budak ramai gila dapat straight A tahun ni. Kawan adik aku pun dapat sama (tapi memang tak boleh dinafikan la, dia adik beradik semua otak sepesen, genetik genius belaka).

Cuma aku terfikir je la, dengan kelulusan dan pencapaian tahun ni yang gila babi tinggi, agak-agak kau orang la, kemasukan universiti tahun ni macam mana agaknya ya? Senang ke tak?

Maka di sini la kepala hotak aku merewang pasal mak bapak yang penat lelah ikut anak-anak mereka panjat jabatan pendidikan nak daftar anak masing-masing kat universiti yang top-top gitu. Ye lah, anak dapat straight A, takkan nak masuk kolej komuniti ye dak? Malu ah kat orang kampung!

Tapi dengan kemasukan yang begitu ramai, akan ada satu dua budak yang tercicir. Maklum la, anak-anak kampung yang takde connection dengan datuk datuk datin datin tersohor, terpaksa la bertungkus lumus cari line internet kat kampung yang masih ada lagi yang pakai ASDL, apply untuk scholarship, universiti tempatan, sebab mak bapak tak mampu nak biaya pengajian diaorang.

Untuk kalian, aku salute.

Dan kepada yang kompem masuk universiti tu (walaupun ada sesetengahnya dapat result yang aku rasa kalau kau apply masuk pusat latihan Giat Mara pun rasanya diaorang fikir sepuluh kali), sama ada guna kabel letrik ke, kereta kabel ke, sila jangan sia-siakan peluang yang kau orang dah dapat ni. Sebab kau orang untung, peluang yang kau orang dapat dengan mudah, ada ramai lagi yang sangap tak dapat apa-apa walaupun result dia orang gempak.

Dan pastikan kau orang paham dengan apa course yang kau orang ambik, sebab ada juga mangkuk-mangkuk (rasanya termasuk aku dulu kot) yang masuk universiti sebab dah takde mana lagi nak pergi/takde apa lagi nak buat. Main hantam masuk, sebab course pilihan hati tak layak, dapat pulak tiba-tiba course yang kau orang sendiri tak tahu amende tu. Lepas tu, blaja setengah jalan, give up. Lepas tu mengaduh macam takde masa hadapan.

Dan kepada mereka yang langsung tak dapat apa-apa, jangan khuatir. SPM bukan maksudnya kau orang akan bergelap sepanjang hayat. Tak masuk universiti tak bermakna kau orang ni sampah masyarakat. Jangan duduk termenung, mengenang nasib, menyesal sebab selalu keluar malam merempit dengan bohsia walaupun SPM tinggal seminggu lagi (yang ni tak boleh cakap apa, memang kau sengaja carik nahas). Bina balik kekuatan diri. Kalau mampu, masuk private college, apply PTPTN (walaupun chance kau nak dapat bukan mudah sekarang ni). MARA jangan cerita la. Kalau kau dapat, memang kau power (macam aku). Kalau tak rasa nak study, mulakan sesuatu dari bawah.

Aku tulis ni pun sebab buang masa yang terlebih, untuk budak-budak yang sibuk dok buzz aku pasal hal ni. Ni pun kalau dia orang baca la. Dah dah, pegi main jauh-jauh dengan result SPM kau tu.

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At times I'd go and find an open field at night, and lie on it as I watch the open sky.

And wonder,

how does it feel to be lost in space.

Well, not to run away from things, nor escaping myself from something -

I just wanted to know how does it feel to stroll far away from the exosphere. Far into the cold, empty void.

A quest,

a test.

Feeling free from gravity,

that's always pulling me back to Earth.

Away from the scorching heat of the Sun.

Counting the glimmering stars, as if I'm transmitting waves back and forth.

Swimming through the rocky asteroids, as they slowly collide with each other.

To gaze the Earth from far far away.

And to just keep swimming, in the utmost exhaustion.

And to miss you from far.

And somehow, I will try to swim my way back

to you.

With everything I have left.

rainclouds.

i was once a 24/7 coward,

thought that i'd always savour my ride on a bike

in the rain.

a great escape from everything.

a total retreat.

a tourniquet for my unseen cuts and bruises.

counting thunders in the distant.

waiving my hand,

in the motion of air as they collide with my fingers

while emotionlessly speeding on a wet, slippery asphalt.

lost i was

in between million gazillion raindrops.

lost i was

in the gush of cold winds.

lost i was

in my own world;

in an open road, yet matteroffactly i was actually

confined in a small squared dead cell

lost, i was.

so lost, i even tried to convince myself,

that i'd be better off vanished in the wind.

when at the end of the road,

i'll be shivering in the wet and cold air.

alone.

at the end of the day,

a coward,

still.

looking back,

i am now bold and brave enough to carve a smile on my face,

or throw a laugh/grin/chuckle - anything cynical, whatever! -

at a memory that blooms only in the neverendingeverlasting autumn.

and for a moment,i had been bestowed

with a pure, geniune touch;

filled with 1001 emotions.

that brings me back to the ground,

back to the gravity.

a touch that diverts me from the gloomy fractions of thoughts

that made me forget that

once i've endured a period of moment i have

to close my eyes by the dusk of storms and thunders,

to hide myself from the lightnings,

and to wake myself up at the dawn of a calm, still morning.

and i've finally learned to unclench my fists,

that has been strangling me over the years

my own fists

that actually suffocate me without me knowing what was it.

for years.

i'm. finally. fine. i'm. finally. feeling. great. i've. never. felt. better.

finally.

man, i'm hungry.

Patience Is The Keyyyyyy!

Hari ni aku ada interview, tapi aku macam tak ready apa apa. Dress up pun macam sakai.

Patience is the keyyyyyy.

Sen takdak. Orang hutang aku tak bayar. Takat puluh takper la, kumpul-kumpul ada dekat ribu jugak lah.

Patience is the keyyyyyy.

PC aku jahanam. Nak buat recording takleh, nak update blog pun susah, nak tulis artikel pun susah, sampai kesian awek aku takde laptop, pinjam laptop dia. Aih.

Patience is the keyyyyyy.

Tapi takper, aku gembira. Because I choose to. :)

Patience is the keyyyyyy.

"Wait, patience is the keyyyyyy?"

"Ye ah, sabar tu separuh dari iman, ngok."

"Ohhh.."

Well..

Patience is the keyyyyyy.

Yo.

Looks like I need to create another blog page soon, for my.. uhm.. poetical posts. Till then, I'd continue using this one for any generic posts.

Blergh.