The Truth.

Faith is a subjective matter.

For over 6 billion population in the world, faith is sacred, even to those who considered themselves as agnostics and atheists.

As for me, a mere Muslim, I have my own faith, and like any other people who dare to take up so many challenges in his life, I have been jumping off so many cliffs with leaps of faith and yet, I am still standing. Figuratively, of course.

Because I know, I am weak, no matter how I confide that I am strong in taking up challenges day by day.

But sometimes, there was a time when I began to ask myself, or more towards re-convince myself that why am I being a Muslim. Is it just because I am born as one, or actually I have understood of why I am one. And to be honest, its not that hard to figure everything out, once I began to understand that the truth, is actually not hard to look for. You just need to open up your eyes, and look around, and ask yourself, are you going to let people feed you the 'truth', or are you going to find it yourself. And once, when you're content that you have all the answer you need, you choose.

And I choose to believe. I choose to submit. I choose to pray. I choose to be a good person. I choose to give RM1 to a beggar. I choose to go to the mosque to pray. I choose not to hurt someone's feeling, intentionally or unintentionally.

I do too, however, choose to do bad things. And to feel, or not too feel guilty about it.

But that's the fact of life that you've got to embrace, no matter how you deny it.

Everything, or every step you choose, absolutely on your own choice.

It's like the sixth foundation of Muslim's faith: The Qada' & The Qadr. There are things that God already planned out for you - all is as God wills it - which is of the Qada'. But even that, He gave you the freedom to determine your life, your own destiny to choose, may it be bad or good, and that's Qadr.

And I choose to do good things, because as much as Buddhists, we Muslims also believe in the concept of 'Karma'.

"So whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it; And whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it" - Holy Quran, 99:7-8

And to believe, you have to do more than just to submit; you need to understand. Of course, you can't understand the whole concept by yourself. And for that, you need to learn, with an open heart.

And to be honest, truth itself will reveal, along with the faith. And God knows, how long we have been living off lies that has been fed to us, for centuries.

What if someone comes and tells you that Hitler is a stacked actor and he was funded by the Rothschilds, a Jew family that control the World's money fund, which covers the whole Nazi operation and fuel their jets, as well as the chemicals that had been used for the Holocausts?

What about the conspiracy theory about 9/11, the fact that the building has been planted with bombs, and went off way before the plane hit the building of the World Trade Centre? That is something that can be told without even have to dig in the US Government Top Secret archives, and can be seen in numerous videos in YouTube alone.

What if the involvement of United States in the WWII, was somehow planned, as there were reports that said the US government knew about the attack on the Pearl Harbor a week before Dec 7, 1941?

Ooh, yes my friend. We came to the very dangerous age of Faith and Truth.

What don't people realize that Faith alone, can be used to turn against to those who follows it blindly, and those who seek the Truth.

So, you gotta know your Faith, and relearn it.

"Faith is a friend, you make it or break it." - Faith by Seven Collar T-Shirt

I'm hungry, again.

Gay.

Yep.

You got that right.

To begin with, I was quite annoyed with so many things these days, work, music, politics, almost everything. Including the gay right issues recently.

Let me tell you a bit about myself. When I was a young kid, I used to live with my sister Yati. I was somewhere in between 3 to 7 years old. That was the time in my life where I had experienced things that a young mind should not be exposed to, but somehow I am glad, because that made me who I am today.

I was raised by my sister whom apparently had so many gay friends around the house. Trans, normal gays, name it. But they were all good people. In fact, they took a good care of me when my sister went out for work. Bathed me, brought me around town and places, getting lots of cool presents and toys, and so forth. Although at that very young age, I have seen so many things that a mere 3 or 4 year old kid should not. Late Auntie Sonia (rest in peace), Papa Raj (God knows where is he now), and so many cool gay people that took care of me.

During my schooldays, very often kids who were labelled as 'soft types' were the ones who did well in their studies. Not to mention they were kind enough to help the others on their studies as well. Perhaps they've taken so many things thrown at them that they don't give a shit about the other jackasses who did that or to fool around trying to win over girls like any other normal boys. Either way, aside from their queerness, they were, or are to this day, very bright.

I have so many gay friends who happen to be good listeners and can provide good serious advice, and speaking from my observations, they know how to make money without ranting much of how shitty the financial situation while doing absolutely nothing about it.

And somehow, it's kinda sad of thinking that those good people being discriminated to the extend of being humiliated in public, even though they did nothing at all. Well, I'd make a joke about gayness sometimes, troll about them just for fun while avoiding certain limits that I am aware of as much as I can.

"That colour looks gay on you pal."

"Shit, she loves you man! Why can't you love her? Are you gay?"

"My phone died. Gayyy."

*cough*Queer*cough*

Yeah. I'd crack on that. Ha-ha. Well, I'd troll about anything, whenever, wherever, whatever.

But to publicly humiliate them?

Come on. Have some respect. They work for the country as much as you do. They paid their taxes as well as cleaning up their house like everyone else. Whatever they're doing with their life, no matter how you would lock their asses with gigantic pad lock, you won't be able to change them - unless if they want to.

Now I'm posting this not because of I'm supporting gay rights or whatsoever, in fact I'm not in the mood of supporting any party at all at the moment. Whatever that is in your damn pocket, just keep it to yourself. Who the fuck gives a shit. All I'm saying is that, learn to treat them people equally as much as possible.

And of course, to gay people, you don't have to cry and rant about how people would throw shits at you. You gotta realize that in this dying world, nothing, is just. That's just how the society works since day one - majorities will always squish the shit out of minorities. Stop crying and be bold. Grow up. Go and live your life, the way you want it to be. And always expect the consequences - just like everything in life. Ignorant will always stay where they are. That's just how you deal with everything. Don't expect people will cheer around you whenever you're making out with your partner in public. If you're about to go against the norm, you just have to deal with it - that's just the cardinal rule of life. Making youtube videos and getting riled up over negative comments on it, you should see it coming. If you think you're living in an 'oppressing' country to you, bail.

Anyway..

I don't really have much to say. I'm just hungry. Imma find something to eat.

Well...

Here's another blog that I'm currently doing with Celine. Checkout if you're free:

http://thebumseries.blogspot.com/

:)

Kimaaaak.

Kimak kan.

Time nak mintak tolong sikit punya susah payah merayu kat aku. Walaupun aku menyangkut, tapi dek kerana kesian, aku tolong jugak. La ni aku dah sangkut bagai nak rak DISEBABKAN KAU, aku nak mintak tolong balik sikit je pun, macam nak mintak nyawa. Kau jawab senang je kan?

Baguslah. Pergi berdrama la lagi dengan semua orang. Tabur cerita dongeng kesian kau tu. Baguslah. Bila kau dah mula kurang kawan, dok fikir apa sebab ramai orang pulau kan kau. Baguslah. Padan muka aku sebab baik sangat nak tolong orang.

Baguslah.

Takperlah. Dunia ni adil. Tak kira kau siapa pun, Tuhan Maha Mengetahui. Biar hancur badan jasad jiwa aku sekali pun, DIA tahu apa dalam hati aku.

Sabar je la dek non oi.

With Everything.

I made a list today, that from now on:

I'll try not to clutch the steering,

as I drive past through the places we've been fooling around all these time.

I'll try to burst into laughters,

to every jokes and weird things people shoved me, pretending that you're beside laughing frantically as much as I do.

I'll try to breathe as calm as a calf,

though I find it hard to breathe from the amount of cigarettes that helped me to ease the missing moments that keeps suffocating me.

I'll try to enjoy every meal,

though it is just a simple roti cheese and indomee goreng, and pretend that they're the best food in the whole world.

I'll try not to look at the clock

that reminds me of how I wish it could stop even just for a while, before you left. Or not to think about how long do I have to wait for you to meet you again.

I'll try not to smoke too much,

pretending that I'm leaving a decent amount of Winston Light for you later.

I'll try to sleep deeply as I can,

and pretend that this whole waiting thing is just a momentary dream, and I shall see your face when I wake up.

I'll try to smile,

and think about how you would carve your smile back at me the way you always do.

I'll walk in confidence,

and pretend that you're beside me, like you always do.

I'll to be strong for you,

for I know that it will eventually makes you strong, too.

So go on, spread your wings and fly, baby bird.

For I will be here waiting for your return home, while my heart will sing of your name, as always.

I've Yet To Have A T-Shirt That Says "USE ME" Printed On It.

I have been a mercenary for over these years.

You know, people who got paid to do anything. Only the part of getting the reasonable amount of money, in ratio of the effort I have given, had left me wondering.. of all the shit I got myself into, was it worth at all?

Sometimes, in the name of "urgency", we tend to forget that the people we are depending on for our matter of urgencies - they have their own urgencies as well that need to be catered, in order for them to work efficiently.

For instance, working on a monthly basis of hell of a workload, at times the person itself won't be able to survive (not to mention while having such burdens to get shitloads of things done) especially when they receive their "supposedly" amount of income LATE. And yet, their superiors keep on telling them, well, ironically 'reminding' them on how important urgency is.

And yet, an averagely motivated worker like me, would do anything to stay on the course by forking out every shit I have left, in order to serve the purpose for the company. There was even a time when I had to struggle of walking 5 kilometres (because my bike was thrashed and I got no penny left to spend for the repairing) while having a bad fever, for few days, before I was told by the boss that I was "useless" and "worth nothing", hence I should go home and fuck myself.

Well, I'm glad I took the right move, went home, and fuck myself up, figuratively before I went working with quite of a huge multinational company. Good thing was there was no dateline or whatsoever, so I was quite of a slummer, taking my time doing my job. Even that happened after give or take 6 months, when I realized that there was no use of working overtime while everyone else on the same level as you slumming around and got promoted, while you were doing THEIR job.

Well, they did at least gave a promise that I'll have my time anytime soon, just not at that particular moment, when in the end I found out that there was some sort of politics involved. For two years of dealing the same shit, I realized that it was not worth of the effort, not to mention I am practically damaging myself up working on variable odd shifts.

And having a part time income by doing band recordings at home is not a very good idea, if you are such a nice, yet pitiful chap who's trying to make small amount of money by helping small bands recording their early demos and singles for a very low price. And yet to be the sole contact point of blaming, because of the quality does not up to the par with international bands such as Green Day or Linkin Park who spent five hundred thousand dollars for a record, in a decent studio that has Pro Tools HD and shit.

Not to mention of being in a small-time band, that most of the band members including yours truly are not rich kids that have parents who would give them Gibson guitars, Mesa amps or Truth drumkits for birthday presents.

And not that I am being unreasonable, by blaming the people who 'sort of' gave me promises that I will be getting the respectable amount of money, IF there are jobs to be done. Sometimes you just have to face it, especially working in a company that provides services.

The equation is really simple. Customers = Money. No customers = you'll be having peanuts for dinner for the rest of the month.

But at least I put my best effort to show up (no matter what) in the workplace every day, and do whatever I've been told to do, at my best. In a position where a typical people would end up leaving the company that actually can even barely to pay the superior, just like that - I choose to stay. Because I have faith in everything I do; I would get the cheese at the end of the tunnel, whether it is rotten or not.

But apart from that, there's a part called appreciation, where people tend to forget or ignore. Appreciation is the least motivation for one who's desperately in need of an income to survive to do his job, which one of the rarest thing I have received throughout these years. At the very least, I hope that I won't look like a total jackass in front of the customer, from being humiliated by my own superior for not handing the right task, or doing anything right although I spent quite of a time learning and doing it.

And yet, with that faith I had in me, I choose to stay. Still.

If it happens that those people read my post, and saying that I am an asshole for putting up this post - I don't care, nor giving any amount of shit. I'd shrug happily.

I need a milo.

Buuuuuuutopa...

*AaaaaAAAaaaaachumbutopakhang!* *Snort*

Haih.

Berabuk sudah blog aku ni. Lama sial tak mengepost benda-benda. Sibuk mengalahkan artis. Poketnya kosong jugak. Padan muka, siapa suruh buat kerja untuk orang free-free? Haa, kan dah kena gula dengan semua orang.

Aaanyway. Dah setengah tahun dah. Tahun depan 2012. Dah nak kiamat bak kata manusia-manusia yang dok terpengaruh tengok cerita Illuminati sana sini. Tah. Pedulik apa aku. Konspirasi la, konspirasu la. Macam la boleh bongkar semua benda dalam satu hari nak selamatkan dunia konon. Kuat berangan masing-masing. Banyak sangat tengok sci-fi, ha ni la dia. Copypastetag la banyak mana pun kat facebook, the world is coming to its end. For sure. So? Kau Tuhan la boleh tahu bila tarikh Bumi nak meletup.

Okay okay. Chill.

*Tarik nafas, hembus nafas*

Aaanyway, aku saja je nak post benda. At least ada entry. Silap-silap aku nak tukar nama ada "Evans" kat belakang, tumpang glamer Milano Evans apa benda tah nama dia.

Buuuuuuuutopakhang.

Lantak pi la dia hai. Malas aku nak amik port.

Cuma, yang lawaknya dok perati komen-komen (rata-rata yang sebaya umoq dengan dia), fuih, maki hamun caci kemain lagi hampa noo? Lagi elok hampa pi carik dia bagi pisau suh dia kelaq tangan biaq mampuih teruih. Amboih-amboih. La ni hampa dok maki dia apa suma, ingat dia nak tukaq mindset la ni jugak ka? Dia tu budak lagi, akai pun besaq kuman. Apa pun dia takleh pikiaq mana baik mana buruk, biar pun dah berkati-kati jantan dia dah main. Dari hampa dok tabuh dia, baik nasihat dia. Anak kita esok lusa belum tau. Yang maki-maki pun (terutamanya perempuan), aku tengok ada jugak yang pakai gambaq siap nampak cleavage jadi default picture, macam mana dia nak amik port kat apa yang hampa dok cerita panjang lebaq kat wall dia? Memang nampak gayanya ada harapan besaq dia akan jadi Bohsia terhebat pada masa akan datang, alang-alang dah hampa semua dok tekan dia. Haih.

Dunia duniaaaa.

Okay okay. Chill.

*Tarik nafas, hembus nafas*

Eh, ni apahal aku boleh kena sampuk cakap utagha ni? Dasar budak Negeri Sembilan lupa gulai cendawan punya mangkuk.

Baiklah, sampai di sini saja giliran kira pada kali ini. Semoga jumpa lagi. Majulah Sukan Boling Padang Untuk Negara.