Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Exception.

Pagi ni aku bangun lambat lagi. Mungkin sebab Iddin masih lagi tak igt pesan aku semalam (or mungkin aku tak cakap dalam frekuensi yang cukup kuat untuk didengari), jgn blast speaker dia tgk movie sebab nanti aku takleh dgr alarm. Takper lah. He's a nice guy. Takde hal la. Aku pun jenis susah dgr alarm. Orang call 13 kali pun lum tentu aku pickup.

Pagi ni, aku tengok cermin lagi.

Rupa miserable aku, yang tido lebih 12 jam dari petang semalam. Rupa yang hampir sama setiap hari.

(not to forget the fucked up coughing that ends with a tremendous puke. thanks to the excessive amount of Marlboro Menthol Black yang makin lama makin kerap kat tangan)

Rupa yang paling pathetic. As if minta simpati dengan diri sendiri.

Simpati apa lagi moe? Nak harap orang datang dan tanya kau, "Moe, ko okay ke?" "Moe, is there anything that bothers you?" "What's on your mind, Moe?"

Atau ko nak orang datang dan pamper kau, as if ko ni everything to them?

Aku pun tak tahu. Kalau aku cakap ye, that wud made me the biggest selfish asshole ever lived. Kalau aku cakap tak.. entahla. Memang takde pun org akan tanya.


Teruk kan pagi2 buta bangun terus fikir bende2 mcm ni?


Basuh muka.
Berus gigi.
Batuk lagi.
Bersin sekali.
Stop, tengok cermin.
Batuk lagi.
Ludah - wah, ada merah lagi.
Mandi macam biasa.

Setel.


Hari ni aku tak pasang apa2 kat radio. Aku bukak tingkap. Enjoying my 6am not-so-rush drive to office, even tho lambat gile dah kot.

Sampai sekarang, lagu The Only Exception dendangan kugiran Paramore masih terngiang2 dekat telinga. 2 hari dah. Asik dok putar dari awal shift, sampai abis.

Mungkin lagu tu biasa je buat orang. Cheesy love song, kata kawan aku. Yep, indeed. Even with the fact Paramore memang jarang buat love song.


But it made me think, whilst having this sandstorm sweeping each and every corner on your mind, you're hoping for a magic.


An exception to every contrary thought and figure.

Yes, there is, definitely. And im fighting for it. Even tho it is indeed a losing battle.


"Kau takkan sedar yang sebenarnya ada orang sayang kau, at least one person, yang sanggup mati untuk kau. Mungkin kau akan sedar, bila dia dah mati atau dah takde."


U're right, pal. Absolutely. And thank you for that lame-but-true statement.

And as what Hayley sang on the song stated above,

"and up until now i had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness;
because none of it was ever worth the risk".




Well, you are the only exception.

Hmm, dah sampai opis. Okay. Let's go to work.

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