Reasons.

Again, for hundredths of times,

I claw the night sky

With different strokes

As I always do with different fingers every night

Moving slowly pretending as if I was getting myself ready to conduct an orchestra;

To an overture of a masterpiece I've been writing all my life.

I draw breaths silently

In between eye blinks

Synchronized with every ticking second,

Figuring out unimaginable and infinite   and restless queries;

A deep hunger for answers that can never be filled.

Of all the wonders, I can still find peace under the blanket, embracing your shirts, the remaining scent on my hand, everything that I can hold on to in times like these.

And looking up to the sky above us, wondering if you are staring at it at the same time the way I do.

I guess if I were to recount either all the pain I've crossed or the joy I've been in, it would take forever. I realize that the more I'm trying to swim the more I'm sinking in, before I will dissolve and become a part of the molecules of whatever I'm drowning in.

So instead, I'd find peace in letting myself drifting away with the waves.

Because deep inside, in the end, in between somewhere, I know I'd find find you, standing, looking back at me, with the most beautiful smile,

Chanting;

Always you. Always will be, always.

Always, the best laugh.

Always, the reliable source of excitement.

Always, the never ending source of entertainment.

Always, the greatest of friend.

Always, the devout lover.

Always, the most adorable clumsy butterfinger.

Always, the loveliest of all.

Always, the sweetest scent.

Always, the dependable council.

Always, the softest skin to touch.

Always, the warmest shoulder to lean to when things get rough.

Always, the hand that fits when our fingers are sewn together, hand in hand.

Always, my home, where your heart is.

Always you. Always will be. Always.