kenapa? kenapa? kenapa?

ok, few ppl already knew abt this. aku dah takde kat tempat keja aku lagi dah. capishe. ka-put.

and to tell you the truth, i have no idea what had happened.

it was fast, and blurry.

and certainly u have no idea of what had happened - to me.

yeah, its a mixed up of tons of heartbreaking moments, with a bit joyness. joy? yeah, why shud i frown over somthing that obvoiusly i.. somewhat.. can't afford to do it anymore?

no, aku taknak certia betapa torn-nya benda tu. it was a total, i repeat, TOTAL nightmare.





and yeah, aku sedih jugak sebab ada orang yang TAK PAHAM dengan keadaan aku, atau TAK NAK PAHAM LANGSUNG.


fuck la. why do i always have to be such a pain in the fucking ass to you, for im JUST BEING MYSELF?

yes, semua ada hal masing2. ye, tau. semua ada moodswing masing2.




you have no FUCKING IDEA of what had happened to me in these threee months. this FUCKING THREE MONTHS. i got this whole fucking complication that im not even sure how to handle myself. and thank god, to date, im still sane and im still seeing distinct colours with my both fucking eyes.

for once, i need someplace that can really let me scream loud enough, loud enough till i can go deaf for like 10 seconds. i need someone (at least) that don't even have to ask, "eh kenapa? kenapa?". i just need silentness, a good ear that listens to every single piece of words i spilled.

and yet why do i always have to be the cause of your misery? erk. everyone kept bombarding me with all those eh-dude-you-should-be-yourself-lah-dude bullshits, by when i become one, all of a sudden i felt that im such a fucking asshole to you? then tell me, what am i supposed to be?



am i selfish? i am, am i?

AM I?



god. im so pathetic. ish. emo betul la budak ni.

heh.




2009. cepat lah datang. i want to start a new life. a new chapter. real quick.