It's a fact that I didn't manage to finish my tertiary education, due to few lame ass reasons. Probably the major part that contributes to the chart was: I screwed up so much, and... financially I don't think at that time, finishing my course was the best option for me.
So I bailed, and worked with a publishing house for about.. 6 months (actually 2 years ), where I did however, learned a lot..
I learned on how to multitask things, how to keep myself sane despite all the pressure of being THE guy in the whole office. To cope up with deadlines. Doing multiple tasks that would probably require several different diplomas.
As far as I can remember, I got no skills on being a journalist. I never knew what are the ethics of being a journalist. I never knew on how does a magazine is produced and shit. But slowly I paced myself. Learn to take pictures using a fucking DSLR without getting bad impressions from pro photographers just by looking at how I'm handling a camera. To interview bands, local and international. Marketing, promotions, record labels, etc etc.
And that, was before almost two years ago, I swapped my job to an IT company. Kinda huge one to say the least. Working as a primary service desk post, dealing with SOE and non-SOE issues (i.e software related issues, emails, basic networking, server issues, SAPs, etc etc), which actually requires at least basic IT diplomas.
I mean, come on. I had three years wasted on a Civil Engineering course. And now, I am one of those people who worked for 9 hours approximately in front of a computer, doing IT shits. And I got NO IT related certificates.. at all, let alone to work in a multi-national IT company that deals with customers all over the fucking world.
I had two solid months of training, and voila. The account went alive. I guess I am quite a lucky ass to make it, until now.
But I never considered luck as a whole picture of it.
The only reason is because I HAD TO.
"Man I had to do this. I had to do that. Ooh, I gotta learn that. Shit, this is hard, imma need to learn on how to make this work".
"You need to embrace the current situation and evolve, either that or die", said Abang Rom, once.
Which is, true.
We need to learn on how to overcome things wisely, to pickup skills on the fly, to cope with the fast pace. Living-it-up-not-giving-a-fuck-living-your-live-in-the-fast-lane shit.
Therefore, I tend not to give a fuck about most things. That includes getting self-help guidebooks. Because I don't read much. Except Andrew Matthew's when I was a kid. Even that, was because the book wasn't really contain much texts. The cartoons were funny as hell.
But yeah. All I need is ME.
"I am mine", says Edward Louis Severson III. Pearl Jam, motherfucker!
I don't buy ideologies no more. I don't live with ideologies. I don't have the passion to show that 'oh, I am such a genius. I read Das Kapital for breakfast, listen to Dead Kennedys and Mothers Of Invention for lunch, and a little Chuck Palahniuk for bedtime stories'. I am not a genius, never been one, and I am not really sure that I will ever be one.
I mean, to know and to accept are two different things. I prefer the first option. I had to break down my wall of ego to indulge things.
How do you live with yourself, and at the same time you need to align with other's persepctive? It is you who control your doings, hence the effects that come after. No baby, you don't need other's philosophies to control your life. True, those are the words of wisdom, came from wise men. But seriously, so do you.
I have learned that those 14 years of education which includes my college days, had somehow helped me only 35.67% part of my life. Instincts are my best weapon of all time.
All I need to do, is to accept myself for what I am.
It's the same thing as to love somebody, all you need is to accept the fact that the person is willingly to accept you, to DO things for you, rather than just to SAY the those L words over and over again. Because love, is like a flower. It needs good soils and fertilizers, as well as proper technique and mostly patience, before it can bloom beautifully. No other way.
And in desperate times, there's no one, apart from God's miracle that can save you, except you yourself.
And to live your life, for no one else but you.
PUKIMAKKK! BILA DIAORANG NAK NIGHT ALLOWANCE AKU! Bloody hell.