on the other side..

my sis keeps telling me that i should stop sucking up to people who only takes the best out of you.

sucking up, aye?

well, probably yeah. or as a twist, pleasing them would probably the relevant term.
i just can't help it (even by the repetition of that phrase), it is safe to say i am, indeed, a YES man.

here's the deal:

how will you please a mother, while you're tangled up between the real vastly-spinning mutha-fucking world, whereby you have to make ends meet to survive, and at the same time, un-neglect her.

how will you please your bloodlines, to help them whenever in need, while you yourself still getting ahold of loadsa things.

pleasing people that you would consider as families, while the truth of actually you being manipulated, to do things for them, most of the time, for fucking free.

pleasing the one you love, but at the same time, you will be in the sorest state of life.




betcha won't have no room to please yourself, let alone to have ppl to please you the way you did to them. so, scrap that.




i bet John Ondrasik has his own point when he wrote his "Superman" song ten years aback approximately.




don't worry. i love every single one of you, still. :)


dessert bite: oh yeah. i just had a good friend, among friends yang paling aku sayang, who FINALLY came up with a simple line: "tak abes abes". see? how easily ppl wud get annoyed with me, even the closest ones. takpelah yeh. sorry kalau post2 aku selama ni buat kau menyampah. aku igt, aku pegang sampai bila2 kata2 kau, sampai aku mati. :)

When u can even grin while everything around u seemed just as depressing.

Sebelum aku memasukkan entri aku abt the trip to Indo, aku nak post this. A song introduced (re-intro actually, sebab aku lupa lagu ni) by Ashroff from Stonebay. Nice. Buat aku rasa nak patah2kan neck Stratocaster dalam bilik aku tuh, kasik jari sampai lebam. :)

six numbers, one more to dial
before I'm before you
I tried to call
been busy all night
gave up waiting at daylight

excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me

ohhhhh...
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
life as the man on the side

one of the many
one of the few
to stand back and wait for you

excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me, if you wanted me

ohhhh...
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man on the side
Life as the man on the side

I fell in love with the dream that I built of you
playing the part of the queen
taking my own advice
I'm giving up tonight
good luck to you and the king

excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me, if you wanted me

ohhhhh....
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
life as the man
you know life as the man
living life as the man on the side

Mr. Mayer, you are the man.

:D

Cakap banyak pun tak guna.

April, here I come. :D

:)

"you don't really know what you got till it's gone."

- Where'd You Go - Fort Minor.



I shall begone one day, for you won't need me no more.
:)

Exsqueeze me? Baking powder?

Sekali sekala teringat aku masa awal2 aku go live jadi service desk (its been a year, wait.. more than a year, doh!). There's one incident that probably be the best bummer.

Me: "Thank you for calling Rio Tinto Service Desk, my name is Fairuz. Can I get your surname for verification purpose, please?"

Guy: "Come again."

Me: *repeating the second line, patiently*

Guy: "Come again." *in an ascending tone*

Me: *repeating the second line, slower, patiently*

Guy: "Come.. againnnn." *but lucky enuf, that guy wasn't pissed*

Me: *dalam hati* Fine lah. Memain kau ye. *while typing "Come" in the search field for a generic search*

........

Me: *dalam hati* Oh hangon. ......oooooowkay. Here it is, "Henry Comeagain".

....

=_="

Me: I am truuuuly sorry for what had happened just now, sir. I..

Guy: *dengan nada pasrah* Naah, it's okay, I've used to it. Really. *laugh*






...sial kan?

updates, maybe?

Hmmm.
Saje2 nak mengepost bende2 lagho lagi ke dalam page aku yang sangatlah mandom. I'm thinking of going for other layers. I mean, blog layouts. Suggestion, anyone?

Oh yeah, it has been a tiring month for me, so far. alah, macam tak biasa. tiap bulan dah mcm ni. but hell, it's going to be far more tiring, SOON. but definitely tak sabar for april: INDO TOUR and LMAO OF GOD in SING! :D

As for Beatburns, for me it's a mix-up. i'm fired up, and in the meantime frustrated as well. bukan sebab band, but MY 640GIG HARDRIVE yang buat aku rasa nak mengamuk satu selayang. WORDS OF ADVICE (untuk yang baru2 nak mula buat home rec esp), sila pastikan PC anda up to date dgn virus def. lagi bagos kalau beli PC baru yang high end. I have few IMPORTANT folders yang aku takleh nak bukak, and those involving my recording shits. FML. dahla nak release EP soon enough. adoi.. dugaan dugaan.

And now jugak aku realize, ramai jugak yang bengkak ngn aku senanya. latestnya, ada lah seorang hamba Allah ni, bengang kot agaknye aku comment page 'awek' dia, kot. and like, above all people, he picked on me. LOL. hai.. manusia. takper lah. aku hidup mati pun seorang, TUHAN yang tentukan, so apa aku kisah pun. ramai je lagi yang lain hantar threat kat aku. not to diss you bud, but i can assure you it's least bit amusing to me. i got tonnes of things to deal with, and i got no space for yours. :) hai.. manusia.. manusia. tak apa lah.

yang penting, aku happy dengan life aku sekarang.

:)

APRIL! HERE I COME!

a kind of numb.

My mind keeps telling me that "everything should work out for you man, don't you worry"
keeps telling me, that "i'm but your best adviser at the worst of time"
that "you, my man, can count on me";

I'd say,
pretty much,
I've succumbed to my lying subliminal thoughts.

I insist,
on being the most stubborn, selfish jerk that i can hardly imagine i ever be, by doing that.

I inhale,
every bits of pain that i endure, and yet to, by trusting myself.

I weep,
most of the time. But not physically. And it fucking hurts, it does.

I fail,
in most crossroads i ever bumped into. Dodging for left when i'm supposed to turn right.

I mend,
most people in my life, giving them a bit of hopes and dreams, while i'm practically living in fear and failure.

I choose,
to let my love unrequited, let alone be discovered, when i know that it leads towards a massive heartbreaking blow.

I submit,
every single chance, to false hopes.

I walk,
towards the end of it all, when it is actually just the beginning.




My hands are numb now,
But my mind keeps telling me that "you shouldn't stop".

I can never tell, when,
will i ever get the chance to say, "fuck you, mind!".

Never.