Sunday, July 25, 2010

23 Years.


I am 23 years old now. Or say, approximately at 7.45pm later (GMT +8), I will be.

Wow. 23 years of adventure. The rants. Raves. Thicks. Thins. Ups. Downs. Reigns and fallouts. Failed attempts and triumphs.

Yeah, I know, I'm not that old for some of you. Perhaps, it's just the beginning. Of what, I iz the don the very very sure.

When I was a kid, I used to think that magic is real. Tho I had never single-handedly experienced it till now, I was convinced by my own subliminal me, that it does exist. Someday, somehow.

Of course, at one point, you gave up. The walls starts to shrink you in. You're cornered. Trapped within your own square.

Fuck magic. Fuck happiness. Fuck life. Fuck love. Fuck everything.


Well, yes. For some reason, epiphany is the only answer. The only salvation. The greatest gift from God, ever.

You waste your life for unforseen things. You waste your time and effort trying to convince a person of how much you love her. Where in the end, which is certain as death, that you'll end up nothing. You make mistakes. You REPEAT mistakes. You please others instead of yourself.

"Pukimakkkk. So what is left for me thennnnnnn??"

I've learnt thru pain and flames, that the true happiness comes from you yourself, within you, not from the others. The real magic, is actually you.

It does exist, people. Eureka.

And in time, you'll learn on how to shut yourself. To avoid things. To say "No thanks, go wipe yourself". To resist temptations. To be an asshole for once. To say "FUCK YOU" to the people who wants you to be their comfort pillow when they have no one at one point, pointing you as their main source of hope, you pick them up when eventually will leave you hanging and downgraded when they're all up and surrounded by everyone.

Ohh yess, I happened to bump into these people A LOT in my whole life.

And in time, you'll learn on how to appreciate people who actually deserve your attention.

Yes, appreciation. That's the only thing you need in life, man. And money. Lots of money.

Jon Foreman told me once, "Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell".

Ah well.

I am still standing today. I've emerged from failures. I'm yet to be successful, but I'm pretty sure that one day I will be.

Because I am fucking cool and awesome. And kind. Handful. A fucking tool for everyone. Very, very effective.

Told you, I am emo. Ha-fucking-ha.

This is yet to be the greatest birthday epiphany I ever had.

For those people out there who had their wishes on my walls, I fucking love you guys. With all my heart.

Fuck, I felt loved for once.



Nadialah, Nadia. said...

untuk birthday ko, aku bagi appreciation wrapped in invisible flowery wrapping paper. serius.

again, happy birthday :D
sori takleh nak selebret :( sape suruh aku takleh drive kan. any case, papehal ko still Fairuz, stay the Fairuz okeh!

Cik Bucken said...

dah besa ko ye.

syafiqxsaifullah said...

belated birhday dude..
tak lewat sgt kan?

...are you lost, or incomplete?

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