Friday, July 2, 2010


It is... 4:51pm.

The office is unusually quiet as I am the only dude left working (read: browsing) in between empty lines of cubicles. As we (or they) are having an grrrraaaand annual dinner tonight. Parties and shits.

Naah, not my thang. It's not like I'm totally antisocial or introverted person. Introvert, yeah, I don't like to be surrounded by people, especially those who are barely even say 'Hi' or nod-and-smile at me everytime we bumped into each other. Except for a moment when one doesn't have a lighter, and fidgety for a puff. They, are going to drain my energy off faster.

I would join them, if we we're ought to share biscuits and tea during break time. But no.

I am feeling content at this moment, though today is not a productive day for me. I am currently finishing up bits of my remaining tickets/issues in my work bucket. Fuck it, you won't understand the flow anyways.

Content, yeeeeeesss. Should say that with a glorious exhale.

Like the slight feeling I get after I got out from the mosque after prayer. Yes, I do pray, thank you, tho I can assure you that I am not pious.

It's like the post feeling of a redemption.

We search for God in time of despair, looking for salvation. We repent after we had the sudden realization that we are, indeed, fucked up. Not really an honest/total repent, but at least a slight regret over things you've done.

As Muslims, we believe that God, or Allah, is merciful.

Take a look at the very first sentence of every Surahs, the Bismillah. Translation: "in the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful".

We repent over sins we've done, and yet there's a probability that we will repeat the same shit anytime soon. And we'll regret as usual, again in the end. It goes round and round to the planet rock. Until the Hour.

Because we believe, that He is Merciful, forgiving. Whether He will or not, that's entirely up to Him.

And He won't get bored forgiving, because He, is not human. He's a God. I had experienced some myself before, few convinced me that He, no matter what kind of things we throw, will forgive. And He loves us all, still. I won't question further on that.

One cannot tell, that a guy who wears a turban will grant him a gold class ticket to Heaven, unless God says so, cuz that turban dude might get himself to Hell just for abusing a cat. Nor a prostitute that went to Heaven as she gave a thirsty dog a scoup of water with her shoe, as she was looking for redemption in a desert. You cannot tell.


Wait, I am being preachy now. Wow.

Content, yeeeeeesss. *glorious exhale*.

Well.. it's almost 5:30 pm now, and I ain't preaching nobody. So now, I am getting myself ready, going baaaack to the normaldepressingchaoticworld again. PHOEEACEE!

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